I actually saw this somewhere and i loved it.
I am curvy.
I have scars.
I have cellulite.
I have been told I am beautiful.
I have been told the exact opposite.
I have been told to be proud of myself.
I have been told to starve myself.
Big boobs, jelly belly and hips galore.
Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I don’t.
I am working on it. I am me and i love me.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Waiting...
I know most young girls dream of how falling in love would be like, of being smitten by a significant other. From the moment she starts watching the likes of Cinderella, beauty and the beast, snow white etc her dreams and fantasies begin. She starts thinking about how one day a young man will come along and whisk her off her feet and they would get married, have kids and live happily ever after in a very big palace with servants and maids. Well, I still have this dream although not the same as the Cinderella story but very similar to it but one with the perspective of someone from the 21st century.
I still remember my first kiss in the summer of 2004. I was about 15 years old and how I felt afterwards. When I got home that day I couldn’t eat and thoughts of the kiss kept flashing through my mind and as time went by my favorite song was 'could I have this kiss forever by Enrique Iglesias'…Oh! I loved that song. At that point in time I was in love or so I thought. Well, things didn’t work out between me and the guy due to one reason or the other and I moved on with my life. I have been in other relationships ever since then but honestly, I have never been in love…. Yes you read it correctly; I have never been in love. I have liked them in their own separate way but I can’t equate the feeling to love.
Quite frankly I don’t have a long list of how I want my dream guy to look like and all but believe me I have fantasies. I don’t want a perfect man because I am not perfect too. Is it wrong to have these fantasies? To dream of one who understands you, who in his eyes you see yourself, your significant other, one who helps you define love.... I still remember the look on Cinderella's face and I want that too, the look on snow white's face when she met her prince but in my own case I am looking for prince of my heart (smiles). I know happily ever afters don’t exist but do you know what it feels like to be in love? Even if the feeling is for a moment it lasts a life time my dear but then again, how do you know the feeling? How do you distinguish like from love? Well I am yet to experience it and hopefully I would know the difference.
Yes I know that this would seem a little puerile and you must be thinking to yourself 'what the hell is she thinking?' life isn’t a fairytale. Well people dream and they come true. I bet Obama would have dreamt of becoming a president at one point or the other in his life, dreamt of what it would feel like living in the white house and all and look! He is now the president of America living his dreams. They were yesterday's fantasies, yesterday's fairytale my dear.
I am still waiting to fall in love some day. I don’t know when thou. Waiting to have the feeling my favorite cartoon characters as a child felt when they met their princes (should I add charming...lol). I wish myself luck. (This is the sentimental and eccentric side of me that only few people know about so act like you didn’t read anything!!!!!)
Inspired by the movie- the notebook
I still remember my first kiss in the summer of 2004. I was about 15 years old and how I felt afterwards. When I got home that day I couldn’t eat and thoughts of the kiss kept flashing through my mind and as time went by my favorite song was 'could I have this kiss forever by Enrique Iglesias'…Oh! I loved that song. At that point in time I was in love or so I thought. Well, things didn’t work out between me and the guy due to one reason or the other and I moved on with my life. I have been in other relationships ever since then but honestly, I have never been in love…. Yes you read it correctly; I have never been in love. I have liked them in their own separate way but I can’t equate the feeling to love.
Quite frankly I don’t have a long list of how I want my dream guy to look like and all but believe me I have fantasies. I don’t want a perfect man because I am not perfect too. Is it wrong to have these fantasies? To dream of one who understands you, who in his eyes you see yourself, your significant other, one who helps you define love.... I still remember the look on Cinderella's face and I want that too, the look on snow white's face when she met her prince but in my own case I am looking for prince of my heart (smiles). I know happily ever afters don’t exist but do you know what it feels like to be in love? Even if the feeling is for a moment it lasts a life time my dear but then again, how do you know the feeling? How do you distinguish like from love? Well I am yet to experience it and hopefully I would know the difference.
Yes I know that this would seem a little puerile and you must be thinking to yourself 'what the hell is she thinking?' life isn’t a fairytale. Well people dream and they come true. I bet Obama would have dreamt of becoming a president at one point or the other in his life, dreamt of what it would feel like living in the white house and all and look! He is now the president of America living his dreams. They were yesterday's fantasies, yesterday's fairytale my dear.
I am still waiting to fall in love some day. I don’t know when thou. Waiting to have the feeling my favorite cartoon characters as a child felt when they met their princes (should I add charming...lol). I wish myself luck. (This is the sentimental and eccentric side of me that only few people know about so act like you didn’t read anything!!!!!)
Inspired by the movie- the notebook
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Desires
I am an ardent fashion lover. i am extremely interested in photography, computers, gadgets, arts, fashion, music, nature and beauty. This does not include my undying love for God. I try as much as possible to put God first in everything I do because He alone can make whatever one plans to achieve in life a success.
I love clothes, wearing them makes me feel good, thinking of them also gives me pleasure and the though of designing them sends chills down my spine. I have never designed any cloth before but I hopeto one day. I went to a fashion magazine today and I totally loved most of the things I saw. I pictured myself in some of the clothes even though I am not a slim person. I though of myself as a size 10 which I am not even close to because I am an 18 but sincerely I pray and hope that in no time I will become a 12. I closed my eyes and imagined how lovely a skirt or gown or top will look on me, God! I loved the look in my minds eye…lol. It makes me auspicious because I know the future holds a lot of opened doors for me. I also love shoes, hair, make-up, perfumes .
what actually attracted me to the magazine which was lying aimlessly on my step mum's bed was the pictures. I love taking pictures and I pray that in the nearest future I will be one of the best photographers in the world(amen). I appreciate good pictures and I liked the ones I saw. In fact it gives on insights into what pictures should look like and how they should be taken even though I have not taken any good pictures in a long time, it felt like a re-awakening and it felt really good I promise. I also love taking pictures of nature, the rising and setting sun, animals, insects etc. it makes me marvel at how beautiful the world we live in is. It makes me appreciate God more.
Music, I have loved music ever since I have been able to understand what good music is, I grew up listening to the likes of Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. My parents have never really been crazy about music in fact my father cannot stand too much music, loud music and after a while it bores him out. For me, it doesn’t. most times it feels like a comfort zone. There is a therapeutic feeling I get when ever I listen to music. It is a way of life. I often like to equate it to poetry and I wonder what it would have been like if I could write music and play a musical instrument.
I am studying computer science and quite unfortunately I don’t yet know what I want to major in but I love computers to an extent and I am still hungry for more knowledge about it. My love for electronic gadgets however cannot be over emphasized. I love ipods, ipads, computers, phones and other gadgets. I honestly cant explain why I love them but all I know is that I do. they are one of the good things of life and no one can deny how much they make our lives easier.
As much as I love all these things( the good things of life) I cannot neglect my love for God and my fear of God. Thoughts of him make me cautious of the things I do and think of doing. It is pretty difficult to love exposing one's hair or other parts of the body when my religion does not condole it. My religion requires a woman to cover her hair, some other parts of her body. There are several times when I feel like I am thorn in between two worlds. A world of my desire and that of my God. The battle is always on and I hope that of my God prevails.
I love clothes, wearing them makes me feel good, thinking of them also gives me pleasure and the though of designing them sends chills down my spine. I have never designed any cloth before but I hopeto one day. I went to a fashion magazine today and I totally loved most of the things I saw. I pictured myself in some of the clothes even though I am not a slim person. I though of myself as a size 10 which I am not even close to because I am an 18 but sincerely I pray and hope that in no time I will become a 12. I closed my eyes and imagined how lovely a skirt or gown or top will look on me, God! I loved the look in my minds eye…lol. It makes me auspicious because I know the future holds a lot of opened doors for me. I also love shoes, hair, make-up, perfumes .
what actually attracted me to the magazine which was lying aimlessly on my step mum's bed was the pictures. I love taking pictures and I pray that in the nearest future I will be one of the best photographers in the world(amen). I appreciate good pictures and I liked the ones I saw. In fact it gives on insights into what pictures should look like and how they should be taken even though I have not taken any good pictures in a long time, it felt like a re-awakening and it felt really good I promise. I also love taking pictures of nature, the rising and setting sun, animals, insects etc. it makes me marvel at how beautiful the world we live in is. It makes me appreciate God more.
Music, I have loved music ever since I have been able to understand what good music is, I grew up listening to the likes of Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. My parents have never really been crazy about music in fact my father cannot stand too much music, loud music and after a while it bores him out. For me, it doesn’t. most times it feels like a comfort zone. There is a therapeutic feeling I get when ever I listen to music. It is a way of life. I often like to equate it to poetry and I wonder what it would have been like if I could write music and play a musical instrument.
I am studying computer science and quite unfortunately I don’t yet know what I want to major in but I love computers to an extent and I am still hungry for more knowledge about it. My love for electronic gadgets however cannot be over emphasized. I love ipods, ipads, computers, phones and other gadgets. I honestly cant explain why I love them but all I know is that I do. they are one of the good things of life and no one can deny how much they make our lives easier.
As much as I love all these things( the good things of life) I cannot neglect my love for God and my fear of God. Thoughts of him make me cautious of the things I do and think of doing. It is pretty difficult to love exposing one's hair or other parts of the body when my religion does not condole it. My religion requires a woman to cover her hair, some other parts of her body. There are several times when I feel like I am thorn in between two worlds. A world of my desire and that of my God. The battle is always on and I hope that of my God prevails.
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